Dating a walking cliche

02 Jul

I do, however, have loads of respect for everyone who is unraveling themselves from cozy comforter blanket burritos to brave the frigid outdoor temperatures for the sheer sake of hitting the weight room. So, whether you're a seasoned fitness fanatic and are simply continuing the grind come 2018, or you're honoring one of your new year's resolutions with a brand new workout routine, these memes about going to the gym during the first month of the year will feel like they're speaking straight to your soul.

If you are looking for the quickest way to have your soul sucked into a deep, digital abyss for hours on end only to come out of the trance cross-eyed and slightly more skeptical of humanity than you were before, I highly suggest you download Tinder.

What’s great about Tinder, however, and why I spent the entire duration of a three hour movie one time swiping through its Rolodex, is that it’s not so much about meeting someone new as it is about discovering the weird and sometimes esoteric trends among these pioneering men, such as…The Ostrich Equestrian Ah yes.

These tigers appear to be laying down, just chilling in the sun having a late afternoon nap, not minding too much that you’re squatting next to them like a Cub Scout troop leader in cargo shorts pointing out edible mushrooms, but hasn’t the violent tale of the mauled magician taught you anything? One friend to sling your arm over, and one stranger to take your photo.

Or are you trying to subtly hint that your middle name is danger? How do you think girls get so many pictures of themselves?

“Ok, Simon, you take ‘freelance photographer.’ Nathaniel, can you be ‘singer/songwriter’?

When it comes to dating, women often dismiss anything deemed cliché—pickup lines, buying drinks, the list goes on.

Honestly, I feel like the person who created this meme should win some kind of award. I mean, this person definitely just turned every fitness enthusiast into a walking cliche, but I'm weirdly OK with it.

If you thought resting b*tch face was a problem, you've clearly never experienced trying to approach someone with resting gym face.

The Ostrich Equestrian is a Tinder classic, because nothing says romance quite like a man straddling prehistoric birds.

I know that for me personally, when a guy doesn’t lead with his OE pic but rather slips it in around photo number three or four, I’m sold.