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27 Mar

It can be someone who you would never date for various reasons (he rides a motorcycle, he eats crackers in bed, he’s a Republican, etc., etc.), but whom you nonetheless love getting naked with on occasion.After two dates, I couldn’t quite decide what I was feeling for this person — whether we would never see each other again or become friends or maybe date down the line — but I didn’t want to end the conversation either.So I would ping him occasionally, just enough to pique his interest and dangle the carrot of a possible relationship without ever actually following through with plans.If I were to pull this on someone who’s over the idea, he just wouldn’t respond. Conor, a 28-year-old law student in New York, says he’s often ignored advances from females in his life — but will continue to text and “spend time” with them while at school or in the workplace.The benchee is complicit because he wants Jean, a 31-year-old writer living in New York, thinks women are falling for the bencher’s perceived niceness. “I won’t actually hang out one-on-one because I want to avoid any confusion for her about my interests,” he says, “but I’ll still text with her, often a few days after those botched plans.

That’s what makes it so darn exciting, getting the most out of him while he lasts.